Before the new conference season starts its time to get the rant out of the way.

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For years i have been asked if i am attending certain conferences. its nice to be invited to go to a conference, or even select the ones i am interested in and can actually afford to go to but here are the main reasons i dont go to conferences.

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I dont have a passport.
Yep its true, i have survived without one. the last time i think i had a passport was a British visitors passport. the one before that was valid for one month for a school trip. conference organisers around the world i can understand arranging a venue near to you but for those who who dont live in some country that needs shots and visas then please consider rotating your venue around the world. this of course links in to other issues,

Pay the presenter
iIam not sure where i stand on this one; if you invite someone to speak then you are effectively employing them to promote your event. so shouldn’t they be entitled to travel, accommodation expenses or more importantly a free ticket?

Web goes 2 ways.
Most events these days will have a stream channel. great, now if someone falls into the "passport" or "visa" trap where despite them signing up to come, they are border refused let there be skype! Surely you can present over skype and stream to the world? I have "attended" several events by a friends skype connection.

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Pre release papers
I have seen so many conferences that will attract a lot of applications to speak, but the organisers are starting to demand that presentations are submitted before hand. Why? are they wanting to check the quality of the slideshow? release parts as an event teaser? The event will usually say its as a safety backup. My solution if you need to send it to them is to password protect it. Especially for sensitive/embarrassing info.

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Deliver the goods.
Yes organisers i am talking to you, if you say that you will do something then please do it.
If you say that you are going to screen cast a sideshow and it needs installing on the presenters laptop, make sure you have enough licences to go round.
That also spreads to travel arrangements, don’t promise to pick someone up in an email and then tweet them to get a taxi, it makes you look really really bad.
Have a dedicated mobile for presenters to use on arrival day, trying to say your late why the org is talking to aunt flo about mr tibbs flea treatment isnt ideal.
Oh, and make sure the centre can handle 150+ geeks online at once.

As many will know i am heavily into the physical security arena, and some really disturbing things happen at conferences.
Imagine walking into a plush hotel, seeing all the signage for the geekathon, looking at the time registration already started. SO you walk up to the unattended registration table where a guy in a suit says to pick up a badge and then go to the seminar hall.
So you do that, drink the coffee, the freebies, maybe even a laptop or table. No one has noticed that you are wearing a badge with a name associated with the opposite sex. It happens every day.

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SO anyway, that’s the reason i dont go to conferences.